If your partner doesn’t make you feel wanted sexually, it’s important to talk about it. It’s also helpful to try to understand their perspective.
It’s common for sex in long-term relationships to go through periods where one or both partners lose interest. However, there are some reasons that may explain their low libido.
1. He Doesn’t Know What He’s Doing
Every relationship experiences dry spells and slumps. During these times, sometimes guys lose interest in sex and don’t know why. They might start to act weird around you or stop talking about sex altogether. If you notice this, talk to him about it and let him know you want more sex. It’s better to be open and honest about this than to wait until the problem escalates.
He might also be dealing with serious problems that are taking up all his time and energy. If he is spending so much time on these issues that he isn’t even thinking about you, it could mean he no longer wants to be with you. It’s important to make sure he knows how you feel and that you want to be with him in every aspect of your life.
If he doesn’t know what you want sexually, it might be because he doesn’t see you as a woman who can satisfy him in that way. Try to get him to focus more on the other things about you that can make him happy besides sex. For example, you might want to dress up more, wear red lipstick, and use sexy lingerie. Talk to him about this and give him a list of what turns you on so that he can be more attentive to your desires.
2. He’s An Asexual
If you’re dating someone who is asexual, it may not be what you’re used to in terms of sexual intimacy. However, it’s important to remember that asexual people still have sexual needs and that these needs are just as valid as the needs of anyone else. The key to success in a relationship is communication, regardless of orientation, and that includes talking about sexuality.
Oftentimes, the way that asexual people experience love and connection has nothing to do with sex but rather other types of intimacy, such as sharing compliments, spending time together, or picking out a set of Corgi socks because they’re a fan of the breed. This kind of intimacy is very real for asexual people and there is no reason to take it personally or assume that they’re not attracted to you.
For those who are new to the idea of asexuality, there are many resources available to help understand the nuances of asexuality. Many of these resources are discussion forums or Facebook groups where you can talk to others and read about their experiences. You can also find out more about asexuality through therapy, whether in-person or online through an app like Talkspace. The key is finding a resource that is appropriate for you and your partner. For some, this might include a LGBTQ center or your local GSA.
3. He Has Other Issues
If your boyfriend is under a lot of stress, or is dealing with issues that are not going away, he might not be thinking about you in the ways that you want. He may be talking to other people, and spending time with them instead of you, or he may just be avoiding sex altogether. This is a problem that can only be solved by both partners communicating in a healthy way and finding some sort of solution together. If you feel like you’re not being heard, it might be a good idea to talk to a counselor or therapist about what is happening in your relationship.
If you’re the partner who doesn’t have a low libido, it can be hard to understand why your boyfriend doesn’t want to be intimate. This is an issue that is not talked about enough, and it’s important to remember that it’s a normal part of every relationship. A lot of things can lower one’s libido, including living together, taking birth control or antidepressants, and getting older.
You can help him to feel more wanted by communicating openly with him about the issue. It’s best to do this sooner rather than later, so that you can come up with a plan together for how to deal with the issue. It’s a good idea to look into resources that can teach you how to discuss the subject without blaming one another, which is often the case in relationships where sexual desire is not being met.
4. He’s Feeling Guilty
If your boyfriend is genuinely feeling guilty about something he’s done or did not do to hurt you, he will make a concerted effort to show this. He will care about your feelings, he won’t leave you messages on read or nod to your conversations and he will ask how you are doing. He will be sincerely interested in knowing how you are doing because, deep down, he knows what he did was wrong and he is feeling remorseful for it.
Another sign that he’s truly feeling remorse is that he will agree to things he would normally disagree with. He might agree to go out with you or he may agree to do other things that he normally wouldn’t have agreed to before. This is him making it clear that he wants to do anything he can to help make up for what he’s done and that you really matter to him.
If you’re noticing that your boyfriend doesn’t feel sexually desired by you, try to have an open and honest discussion with him. Get curious about his low libido without blaming him for it, and then find out what you can do to help him overcome his issues. This is the only way that you will both feel wanted sexually in your relationship again. Good luck!
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