Having sex can feel great, especially if orgasms are involved. And the pleasure can be even more intense when it’s with someone you love and who loves you back.
However, if it’s not enjoyable or there is pain (physical or emotional), you should stop. Sexual coercion or assault is never okay.
Physical
Sex is one of the most arousing and sexy things you can do, especially when it leads to orgasms. This is because your brain releases happy hormones that flood the body, which then stimulates your erogenous zones. These include the nipples, neck, and genitals. The blood vessels in these areas dilate and expand, which increases the sensation of arousal. At the same time, your heart rate jumps and your breathing quickens to fuel your arousal.
When you have sex with someone you like and feel chemistry with, it takes pleasure to a whole new level. This is because emotional and mental stimulation are a big part of the pleasure, too. But of course, it’s also great to have sex with just about anyone who you’re attracted to.
Sexual desire is highly personal and varies between people, but it can be influenced by many things: stress, hormones, medications, and your lifestyle. If you’re having trouble with your sexuality, it’s a good idea to visit a health care professional for advice.
A healthy diet, plenty of exercise, no smoking, and a low-stress lifestyle can help with sex problems. Regular lovemaking also increases your levels of oxytocin, which strengthens the bond between partners and makes you less likely to get sick. In addition, sex is a great way to lose weight as it burns lots of calories.
Emotional
A lot of the time, sex is about emotional pleasure as well as physical pleasure. The emotions can vary from person to person, but they’re usually positive, especially when sex is done for a good reason. Some people feel a sense of power or control, while others feel euphoria, lust, tenderness or love.
This feeling of intimacy can make sex even more desirable for some, and it’s usually felt better when it’s reciprocated by the other partner. This is one of the reasons why it’s important to always have sex for a good reason — not just to please yourself, but to make your partner happy too.
When sex isn’t about intimacy, it can leave people feeling depressed and down. It can also lead to resentment, which is why it’s not healthy for anyone to have sex against their will or without a good reason.
George says that for him, sex feels good when it’s about expressing love for his partner. He likes to make his partner feel happy by meeting their intimacy needs and he does it all for the sake of making them smile. Other people find joy in sex for more selfish reasons, though, and they may have a hard time explaining their feelings to the other person. Having sex for unsupportive reasons can actually damage relationships and lead to health problems, such as a weakened immune system and lowered libido.
Mental
There’s no denying that physical pleasure is one part of having sex, but sex is also about connection and intimacy. “When it’s done well, you’re able to connect and feel for each other on a more emotional level than just the physical sensation,” says Susannah Hyland, an NYC-based therapist who uses they/they pronouns and is experienced in couples counseling.
When two people are able to talk about their feelings, set and communicate boundaries, and respect each other’s needs, they can experience “a sense of intimacy that you wouldn’t necessarily get with just the physical component alone,” says Ms Hyland.
Ms Mourikis agrees that if you’re doing sex for the wrong reasons, it can negatively impact your mental health and wellbeing. “If it’s about control, power, resentment or being used by someone, it’s not healthy for any of you,” she says.
If you find that your thoughts tend to drift away from the present moment, try practicing mindfulness and focusing on your feelings instead. Meditation and yoga can help with this, as can practicing being fully in your body – which is essential to connecting to sexual pleasure! This may be especially helpful for women who have trouble feeling aroused (too much friction and sensitivity down there, anyone?) or experience premature ejaculation or a sore throat during sex.
Social
People’s attitudes toward casual sex tend to fluctuate over time and in response to life circumstances. It can be celebrated, relished, derided, envied, and stigmatized. Whether or not it is healthy depends on how it fits into the person’s overall lifestyle and relationship goals.
Many cultures and traditions promote marriage or committed relationships as the only valid venues for sex, while others encourage sex for pleasure. However, this type of behavior can be dangerous when it leads to a negative self-image or unhealthy patterns in intimate relationships.
The negative consequences of sexuality can also have a social impact, such as the way that men and women use their sexuality to gain status. For example, some people who engage in sex for the wrong reasons feel hurt or cheated when their intentions are misaligned.
It’s important to examine one’s own values and beliefs about sexuality, romance, gender roles, religion, morality, and life purpose to determine if sex is right for them. Ideally, sex should be pursued as a complement to other activities that fulfill psychological needs like love, connection, and achievement. However, if alternative sources of fulfillment are not available, sex may be used to satisfy emotional cravings or fill in gaps in one’s identity or life experience. Often, these feelings of pleasure and gratification can be short-lived or become a source of pain and discomfort over time.
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