The sexy spark that ignited your relationship at the beginning may have burned out over time. But with a little innovation, you can reignite that fire and keep things hot in the bedroom.
Try a new technique or add a playful element like using flavored lube or playing with ice, suggests Levy.
Blindfold
A blindfold can make sex even more exciting. It can arouse your partner to know they can’t see what they’re about to experience, and it also can make you more willing to take turns doing the blindfolding, says Villero.
If you’re not ready to try blindfold play in the bedroom, you can use a piece of cloth or a scarf to cover your partner’s eyes during a kissing session or foreplay. Or you can take it to the next level by blindfolding your partner in a place they’re not familiar with and letting them work their way into pleasuring you in ways you couldn’t predict.
A blindfold can also be a kinky tool for those who are into arousal with touch, especially if you’re using a long piece of fabric and think of it as a feather to drag across your partner’s bare skin. It’s another way of increasing anticipation and enhancing pleasure, which can lead to delayed orgasms. Having the blindfold over your face can also help you release inhibitions, which can make sex more intimate.
Clitoral Vibration
Clitoral stimulation is a major orgasm trigger for many people, and there are a lot of sex toys that prioritize this part of the body. You can use a clitoral vibrator on your own, or have her do it. You can even find a clit suction toy (like the Womanizer Premium or Satisfyer Pro) that doesn’t technically vibrate, but sucks on your clit for oral and penetrative sex.
Some women also find indirect clitoral stimulation to be equally as orgasmic—try running a vibe up your labia and around your clitoris, getting close but not touching it. Some people like to use these vibrators in the shower or bathtub.
Clitoral Suction
Clitoral suction is one of the best ways to stimulate the clit. You can use a vibrator or your hands for this, but the best tools are small, handheld clitoral suction toys that combine titillating air pulses with vibrations and tongue simulation. Some are shaped like penises to target the outer rim of the clit, while others are more pinpoint and will deliver intense pleasure. These clitoral suction sex toys are perfect for clit stimulation alone or during partnered masturbation.
For added excitement, you can use pillows or bunched-up blankets to increase the pressure on your clit, making it feel even more throbbing and pleasurable. You can also try a variation on the reverse rider position: have your partner straddle your hips and grab a pillow for support. The clitoral hood will be pressed up against the pillow, making it easier to reach in and explore with your fingers or a sex toy.
The clitoris is just one part of the vulva, so you can get your grind on by stimulating other erogenous zones with your hands or sex toys before you move down to the clitoral hood. Many penetrative sex positions, such as the missionary, amazon, and spooning position allow you to reach around and play with the rest of her clitoral area.
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